So my sister who has chosen to spend her life traveling the world with no visits home calls my house today and speaks to both my mom and dad for a lengthy amount of time. When my mom was on the phone with her I sat at the kitchen table beside her waiting for it to be my turn to speak to her. While I’m waiting and they are talking my mom asks me “laura, where is…etc” something about where some restaurant is and I answered. So anyway, that just makes me know even more that my sister was fully aware that I was home, and in the same room as my mom. My mom had to take a work call on her cell phone so she told my sister she needed to go and instead of asking to speak to me she just gets off the phone normally. Considering this is the third year in a row she hasn’t been here for christmas (or birthdays or special occasions or anything) and the only times I’ve seen her in the past three years is the 4 times I have gone out of my way to go see her when she is hours away, you would think she would want to talk to me. Anyway, I started crying and my mom told me I had no reason to be upset because i didn’t ask to speak to her either. I guess sitting patiently through their conversations with her wasn’t a clear sign that I was waiting to speak to her. Maybe I was just assuming that my sister would ask to speak to me once she was done speaking to everyone else in my family to at least be fair if nothing more, my mistake. I should know by now after all the times she has ditched me to go get drunk with her friends when I come and visit her when she’s actually in Canada for once, and all the lack of follow through and disregard for anybodies feelings but her own and the pathetic need to play the victim in all her manipulated scenarios that I mean nothing to her. That she only says she misses me and gets upset when I call her out on her lies and life built on a citadel of facades because she needs to be the weak victim to escape the guilt she know she deserves. Best part is, she called my other sister at her house to speak to my sister, my niece and my brother in law. How silly of me to expect her to remember my existence, I’ll never make that mistake again.
So I have almost finished all of my christmas shopping, all I have left to do is get a gift card for two people. It feels really good to almost be done and free of the weight on my shoulders from not starting earlier. I’ve also been indulging too, though. I bought a jean shirt a few days ago, moccasin boot slippers, and new eariings. Today I bought some new undies and a new plaid shirt that im very excited to wear.